Day 96: Ch-ch-ch-changes

This past week, even though I was not blogging, I was keeping track of step counts. I wore that stupid counter even to work and yoga, all day long for five consecutive days. I made an average of 6,169 steps a day this way. The new counter I’ve been wearing is much more accurate than my old one, though I also learned how I should be wearing them was wrong so perhaps I should give old faithful here another shot at it. According to TheWalkingSite.com, it takes an average of 2000 steps to make a mile, taking into account the difference in strides. So I’ve only been walking an average of 3 miles in a day, far less than I projected for myself. However, I also only took one walk this week and didn’t run once. I’ve been trying out Udaya’s yoga studio (www.udayayogastudio.com) here in Golden, about 1 mile from my house, on their first week for $20 package. I’ve attended four classes this week, so that’s been taking up my exercise hours rather than the daily runs. Plus it’s been really cold lately. Today it’s been raining all morning and is supposed to snow. Yes, yes, excuses. But I’ve referred another person to the yoga studio and now get next week’s classes free! Sooo much cheaper than my pilates at $13/class, and I don’t have to drive far at all. I was hoping it’d be nice out so I could run or bike to class and back, but that would’ve been too perfect.

Okay, so I’ve decided to train for a triathlon. No real motivation here, just an urge to see whether I can do it and the unexpected tightness of my jeans lately. Next week will be week 1 on my plan, which I tore from an old issue of Runner’s World. I’m going to tape ‘er to the wall and factor these things into my weekly calendar to make sure I’ll have time for them. I also need to pump up the air in my bike tires and find a new water bottle that fits in that holder. According to the plan Tuesdays and Fridays are swim days, Wednesdays and Saturdays are bike days, Thursdays and Sundays are run days, and Monday is my rest day. Three hours of training altogether, not including drive time and prep. It doesn’t leave a lot of time for yoga. . . but I’ve still scheduled four classes next week as well. I may have to cancel a few of them. At least triathlon training is free, whereas I’ll have to pay for this yoga stuff after my free week runs out.

As far as the vegetarian fare is concerned, I’ve been relying on the staples I’ve learned so far. I’ve had a few crazy weeks with lots of eating out, so when I’ve been home it’s nice to snarf some plain old pasta and garlic bread with salads and soups and sandwiches. It’s pretty boring stuff, but comforting and, frankly, I’ve been too lazy to find more recipes lately.

We grilled out with George’s parents, beef, poultry and veggie fare, so there was something for everyone. Because of my chik patties the vegetarian choice had to be announced to the in-laws, which was awkward. My in-laws are very nice, but solid meat-eaters from the Midwest. The question quickly arose about what I was eating on a regular basis. I’m never sure how to answer that. My diet is farely varied, and I get defensive and want to ask what they’re eating in return. It’s never the same. But in the moment I’m racking my brain for something that sounds realistic and filling, because I’m not constantly eating salads or I’d obviously be much thinner. I’m pretty sure that I just managed to say enough vagaries, like pasta and tacos, to fill the time until I could change the subject, about ten seconds, tops. I’d like to get better at answering this, however, since it’s something that keeps coming up. Why do I feel the need to defend myself? Nobody eats sheer meat all the time, but why can’t they think of anything else to eat when they’re already eating it? Just because it’s on the side of their meat doesn’t mean it isn’t food in and of itself. Then I felt like maybe his parents thought George was suffering through this veggie time, not realizing that he eats meat all the time and is in no way deprived as a result of my decision. So I was defensive for that reason too, because what kind of mean-spirited person would force a food decision on anyone else. Is that really what they think of me? It leaps into the mind of whoever I tell about my new veggie lifestyle to feel badly for George. Like I didn’t originally change the way I ate to cater to his needs when we married. Like the extra pounds he carries around are proof he’s suffering. Like I’ve beaten him into submission somehow. What the hell folks? We’re all grown-ups here. He makes his own decisions, AND he can actually buy food and cook for himself if he were truly unhappy. I end up defending not only my personal decision but also George’s independence whenever I’m asked these questions. No wonder I’m slightly embittered after four months. Anyway, after ranting through all of this in my mind or out loud, my mother in law says “we should try that,” about being vegetarian. I deflated instantly, thinking of my father-in-law’s heart conditions and medications, and the fact that I was being defensive while they were, in fact, genuinely interested. What an ass I can be.

I also wanted to note that I attended a book signing last week at the Tattered Cover downtown, using the occasion to buy a coffee from their in-house shop rather than using my Starbucks discount. I LOVE getting coffees different places. Sometimes it turned out horribly, but it’s at least interesting to see what’s different even when it flops. Anyway, the TC shop has the most diverse array of syrups for lattes that I’ve seen in ages, and I chose Toasted Marshmallow to sweeten my drink. It was amazing! I sipped that drink even though the author gallery felt like the escalator to hell. I sweat and drank and held the cup in my dewy palm through the entire hour. It was worth it.

For the record, I’ve decided to record what I’m eating here in my personal log, but I’m no longer going to post them online i.e. Bridget Jones. I haven’t heard any complaints yet, and I’m thinking that nobody cares about that particular part of what I’m doing here. Although it makes me more accountable, I also feel embarrassed to have a public record of my efforts and failures. Nobody needs to think worse of me than is already made obvious by the rest of this blog. Right? Right. Hopefully.